Heavenly Father Wants to Forgive Us

(I bought this bucket to put Spelt Flour in, Eli first decided to carry around random household items, including my dirty crocs in it. I'd just cleaned it out again, and turned around to find this)

I watched this video and I was very inspired. (Note click on "this video" to watch it) There is a man in the video talking about his path in life and how he couldn't believe that God would still be there for him. I couldn't help but think of my little Eli. When he does something wrong, I honestly, with all my heart want to forgive him. I don't like throwing him in time out, I hate taking away his toys, I wish I could just always buy him candy. If I had it my way, then we would just always get along perfectly, and I would never have to wield the hammer of justice, unless I was pretending to be Thor while we were playing.

Eli could burn or break my most treasured possession, and I would still want to forgive him, because nothing is more precious than him. No matter what he says and does, no matter how hard a time we have, he's still my little angel, and I always want him.

When I think of how we discipline and how God in turn works with us, I often think of the scripture that talks about "Reproving betimes with sharpness, when moved upon by the Holy Ghost; and then showing forth afterwards an increase of love toward him whom thou hast reproved, lest he esteem thee to be his enemy;" (Doctrine and Covenants 121:43)

Heavenly Father loves us enough to let us feel the consequences of our actions, at least enough to learn. I say that, but I know it ends up being like with Eli. He spills a whole box of crackers and I tell him he has to pick it up, and I of course help him. He picks up enough to learn his lesson about being careful or not throwing the box when he's mad, or whatever happened, but I offer whatever mercy I can, just because I love him.

God does that with us too. There are so many times that I have really gotten in over my head or that I have done things that I can never undo. He lets me feel enough to learn my lesson and I do whatever I can to correct the situation, but God is always there. I feel like I've done and hurt so much, when really I probably barely got 5 crackers to his 100 in the box to clean up the mess that was really all my fault to begin with.

But, just as I would NEVER turn away from Eli and just say, yeah you've just messed up too much this time, God will NEVER turn away from us. If you think about it, in the grand scheme of things, even the worst things we do, probably God looks at them much the same way I look at some of the worst things little Eli does. Yeah this is a mess, and we're going to have to work together to clean up the spilled paint and find a way to make this look right again, but we'll make it right and I'll be there to help. God doesn't care where we are or how far we've strayed from the path, He just wants you to know He's always going to be there to help you. He's forever patient, He doesn't care how many times you do the same dumb things. He just wants you back with Him, no matter how long or hard the road, and He's going to be there with you every step of the way.

My Ways Are Not Your Ways and My Thoughts Are Not Your Thoughts

8 ¶For my ^athoughts are not ^byour thoughts, neither are your ^cways my ^dways, saith the Lord.

 9 For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ^aways ^bhigher than your ways, and my ^cthoughts than your thoughts.

(Isaiah 55:8-9)

The picture above is of Eli helping us put together the new cube shelf for his room. He was pretty sure that screwing in the screws was a three tool job, hammer it a little, brush it off with the cleaning brush, then use the screwdriver, until he felt he needed to go back to one of the other two tools to help it along a little. Turns out though, he's actually really good with a screwdriver. But, what really got me thinking about the scripture above first wasn't when Eli had a different view on how to use tools, it was the other night when I was putting him to sleep. I had sung to Eli and then told him I was going downstairs and that I would check on him in a little while. I got caught up with some housework and watching a show with Josh, so I didn't get back up there for a little while to check on him, hoping he would have put himself to sleep. When I did get back up there, he started asking me if I ever go to work in another building (I work from home) and if I get lost, in the end it turns out in poor little Eli's mind Mommy could only have taken so long to get back because she had to go to work, and it must have been somewhere outside of home where she got lost, and so here the poor boy was worried the whole time that his Mother just didn't know how to get back to him. I obviously reassured him that I had been downstairs the whole time, and he could have come out to find me anytime if he needed me.

It got me thinking about that verse above. Sometimes life isn't working out how we thought it would or things just aren't as planned. When we try to explain it ourselves, I feel like our answers are often about as close as Eli's was for why I hadn't come back up. For one thing, we start assuming the worst, we start thinking maybe somehow we are lost or forgotten, when He has already told us "Behold, I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands; thy walls are continually before me." (Isaiah 49:16) and "Are not two ^asparrows sold for a farthing? and one of them shall not fall on the ground without your Father. But the very ^ahairs of your head are all numbered. Fear ye not therefore, ye are of more ^avalue than many ^bsparrows." (Matthew 10:29-31)

I know I often just don't see the bigger picture very well. I really like how Elder Bednar put it in his talk about tithing when he said: 

Often as we teach and testify about the law of tithing, we emphasize the immediate, dramatic, and readily recognizable temporal blessings that we receive. And surely such blessings do occur. Yet some of the diverse blessings we obtain as we are obedient to this commandment are significant but subtle. Such blessings can be discerned only if we are both spiritually attentive and observant (see 1 Corinthians 2:14).

The imagery of the “windows” of heaven used by Malachi is most instructive. Windows allow natural light to enter into a building. In like manner, spiritual illumination and perspective are poured out through the windows of heaven and into our lives as we honor the law of tithing.

For example, a subtle but significant blessing we receive is the spiritual gift of gratitude that enables our appreciation for what we have to constrain desires for what we want. A grateful person is rich in contentment. An ungrateful person suffers in the poverty of endless discontentment (see Luke 12:15).

We may need and pray for help to find suitable employment. Eyes and ears of faith (see Ether 12:19) are needed, however, to recognize the spiritual gift of enhanced discernment that can empower us to identify job opportunities that many other people might overlook—or the blessing of greater personal determination to search harder and longer for a position than other people may be able or willing to do. We might want and expect a job offer, but the blessing that comes to us through heavenly windows may be greater capacity to act and change our own circumstances rather than expecting our circumstances to be changed by someone or something else.

We may appropriately desire and work to receive a pay raise in our employment to better provide the necessities of life. Eyes and ears of faith are required, however, to notice in us an increased spiritual and temporal capacity (see Luke 2:52) to do more with less, a keener ability to prioritize and simplify, and an enhanced ability to take proper care of the material possessions we already have acquired. We might want and expect a larger paycheck, but the blessing that comes to us through heavenly windows may be greater capacity to change our own circumstances rather than expecting our circumstances to be changed by someone or something else.

The stripling warriors in the Book of Mormon (see Alma 53; 56–58) prayed earnestly that God would strengthen and deliver them out of the hands of their enemies. Interestingly, the answers to these prayers did not produce additional weapons or an increased number of troops. Instead, God granted these faithful warriors assurance that He would deliver them, peace to their souls, and great faith and hope for their deliverance in Him (see Alma 58:11). Thus, the sons of Helaman did take courage, were fixed with a determination to conquer, and did go forth with all of their might against the Lamanites (see Alma 58:12–13). Assurance, peace, faith, and hope initially might not seem like the blessings warriors in battle might want, but they were precisely the blessings these valiant young men needed to press forward and prevail physically and spiritually.

Sometimes we may ask God for success, and He gives us physical and mental stamina. We might plead for prosperity, and we receive enlarged perspective and increased patience, or we petition for growth and are blessed with the gift of grace. He may bestow upon us conviction and confidence as we strive to achieve worthy goals. And when we plead for relief from physical, mental, and spiritual difficulties, He may increase our resolve and resilience.

I promise that as you and I observe and keep the law of tithing, indeed the windows of heaven will be opened and spiritual and temporal blessings will be poured out such that there shall not be room enough to receive them (see Malachi 3:10). We also will remember the Lord’s declaration:

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord.

“For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts” (Isaiah 55:8–9).

I testify that as we are spiritually attentive and observant, we will be blessed with eyes that see more clearly, ears that hear more consistently, and hearts that understand more fully the significance and subtlety of His ways, His thoughts, and His blessings in our lives.

(The Windows of Heaven, October 2013 General Conference, Elder David A. Bednar) 

That's a bigger section than I normally copy, but I liked all of his examples. I think it can be hard to honestly stop and pray to see the blessings in our lives when we feel so disappointed by not getting what we thought should happen. It is difficult to overcome those feelings, but I know that if you pray to ask to see the Lord's hand, then try to stay close to the Spirit He shows you. I feel like it's okay to tell you this story, so I'm going to share it, all of my life I had planned on serving a Church Service Mission. At the time, girls who wanted to serve missions could do so starting at the age of 21. Almost exactly 6 months before I turned 21, I was diagnosed with cancer. I have never smoked, drunk alcohol, I walked to and from school up tons of stairs, so it's not like I was completely out of shape. It's just one of those things that happened. On my 21st birthday instead of turning in my mission papers I was tatooed for so that I would be able to start the radiation treatment that was the follow up for the chemo I had been going through the months prior. I remember just before that there was an adult session of a stake conference where someone spoke about the need for missionaries and he talked about how those who were able should just get up and go, and I nearly broke completely at how sad I was that it wasn't in my plan now. But, as I prayed, I remembered feelings of the Spirit asking me if I would really be willing to serve wherever the Lord called me, even if it was a really hard mission. And yes I would. During my time going through treatment, I was able to serve in the Relief Society Presidency for my Young Single Adult group. Even on days when I should not have had energy to complete my assignments, I was blessed to be able to do it. I was blessed to have good people around me to support me. The Lord called me on a mission. I was able to help the missionaries in our area, and work with the young adults. I was on the mission The Lord called me to, even if I didn't send in any papers or get a letter back, it didn't matter because the point of a mission is to serve where the Lord would have you to serve.

Even in less dramatic ways, sometimes even as a trial hits, I have been able to be blessed to see how I was prepared for it. Recently, as I am want to do, I locked my keys in the car, really they were Josh's keys, and the other set we are guessing are in the coat pocket of the coat that I left at the church building last Sunday, so these were the only car keys right now. So, I called and rejoined AAA, because doing that and sameday service request is about the same as paying a locksmith and this way I can lock my keys in the car 4 more times this year for free, and as I was about to lament the cost, the Spirit reminded me of  the last weekend. We were a few hours late getting our form in to apply for a child care subsitiy through the school, and had almost decided we just had to call it a loss, but we called and the nice person there said they would still accept it. They thought it might take longer to process, but almost right away we got accepted, and the amount we had been rewarded was just almost just as much as I had to pay to get the keys out. And I just felt the Spirit say, "See Jenna, I know your weaknesses, and that you are trying. I'm here to help make up the difference." I may not always understand how or why things are the way they are, but it is comforting to know that God does. And it is awing and wonderful to know that with all He is and all He can do He has said: "this is my work and my glory—to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man." (Moses 1:39)

I'm learning to trust Him more. Just like all I really wanted was for Eli to learn the valuable skill of putting himself to sleep, sometimes He's just trying to help me out and wants me to keep trying, knowing He's there to support me and help me when I need.

It's Okay If You Can't Climb to the Top of the Jungle Gym Today

(These Pictures are from September 2012)

I've been meaning to post about this since about this day, but I learned an important lesson about forgiving myself after going to the park with some other mom's and their kids for play time at the park this day.

Here's what happened: We were playing around at the park and near the end Eli got my hand and we climbed the big jungle gym together with the other children. The platforms are made out of metal with a grid of holes so that you can look down and see how high you are, and Eli was getting pretty scared as we climbed. I don't have a picture but there is a little ladder to the very very top where there is a little circle tower with toy things on the walls I think, anyway, we were just to the bottom of that ladder and the other kids were climbing up and having fun at the very top, and Eli wanted to go but he was just so scared. In the end, I held him up and I helped him climb up there (he chose to do it). I was so proud of him for trying. As soon as we got to the top of the ladder though, that was it, Eli clung to the ground and cried and just wanted down, so I carried him back down the ladder.

On this post you get to learn too much about me to find out the lesson, so here is a secret or two, so that you will understand my point. For that past few years I've been feeling really guilty about something that I didn't do in high school. A boy that I knew, committed suicide a few years ago. It had to do with a lot of issues, his life took a walk down a dark path. I've felt badly partly because I have often wondered if I couldn't have helped him more back when we were in high school. He was a year younger than me, but he transferred into one of my elective classes (yes I am being pointedly vague :-)). I didn't really know him well, but I knew him well enough that I should have said hi and pulled him in under my wing and introduced him to my friends, but I didn't. I wonder if it could have changed his life somehow, but that is something that I cannot go back and change. Around the time we went to the park in the story above I was praying a lot about how to repent and be able to forgive myself. 

The thought came one night, were you upset with Eli for not being able to climb that jungle gym? answer: no. Is he somehow going to be something less for the rest his existence even if he never goes back to that same park again and climbs to the top of that exact jungle gym? no. Then the thoughts came, the important thing is that Eli will learn and grow and eventually, he will understand enough to know that the playground structure is going to hold him fine and that he's safe, once he's more free of those fears, then he will learn how much fun it is to climb up there and he will become stronger and less afraid of life. Eventually he will find a jungle gym and climb it and over all he will have learned to climb them, even if he never gets back to that same one. And I could feel Heavenly Father telling me, you my daughter are the same. When I was in high school, I lived mostly on the "fake it, 'till you make it" confidence. I put up a really good front, and I did have lots of friends, but inwardly I was really very shy when it came to speaking to just one person and I wasn't always sure how to approach people. I basically always arrived to school late pretty much because I didn't want that awkwardness I felt when it came to trying to figure out which group to join to talk to and how to do it. Looking back at myself this was ridiculous because they were my friends, but it was still my fear. It was more than I could do with my limitations at that time to bring that boy in the way I would be able to now that I have learned and grown and become stronger and less afraid. God and I'm sure that boy, will not hold that against me any more than I would ever look down at Eli for not climbing to the top of the play structure that one particular day.

In our lives, we often regret or suffer feelings guilt for things that we just need to remind ourselves were meant to be hard. And just because we couldn't climb to the top that day it is okay, because we will learn and get stronger and see more playgrounds and have more chances to look at it and learn and figure out how to get to the top without fear. We are meant to be faced with tasks that we are going to have to learn to do through first making mistakes.

"27 And if men come unto me I will show unto them their ^aweakness. I ^bgive unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my ^cgrace is sufficient for all men that ^dhumble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make ^eweak things become strong unto them.

 28 Behold, I will show unto the Gentiles their weakness, and I will show unto them that ^afaith, hope and charity bringeth unto me—the fountain of all ^brighteousness. (Ether 12:27-28)"

I think this is how Heavenly Father sees us, children who are still learning to trust Him when He says. Don't worry, I'm with you, you will be alright, just follow my guidance it just looks scary because you can see through the holes on these metal platforms and look down at how high you are, but it's safe, I'll hold your hand and this won't fall, I'm sure of it. Just trust in your Heavenly Father, who knows the end from the beginning and who knows who you are and what you can become. I'm not upset with you for not being able to climb this time, let's walk through this and work on it together, we'll conquer this fear and weakness hand in hand so that you will find freedom and joy in the knowledge of how things truly are and how the world around us works.

Let The Lord Support You How You Need to Be Supported

(So, this picture is about a year old, but this is Eli and his Cousin Kip on a playground in Clarkston, Washington)

So, the other day Eli and I went to the park for a picnic/play date, which was a lot of fun, and I learned something important while helping Eli on the playground equipment. Eli's a little afraid of things that he hasn't tried much before, and periodically afraid of high places. The other kids were climbing this ladder up to a really high place on the playground and he wanted to go too, but he was scared, so he wanted me to help him, but what he wanted me to do was hold his hand. As those of you who know anything about climbing a ladder know, it is best to use both of your hands when climbing a ladder. It in fact makes it more difficult to climb a ladder if someone is trying to hold your hand while you do it. I tried to show Eli that I could hold his sides to help him up, but he just didn't feel supported unless I was actually holding his hand. Luckily, the ladder wasn't long, so I could climb by him holding his hand in this case :-), but I learned something from this experience.

Sometimes we really have in our head what we think would be the most helpful thing for God to do. I know I think sometimes, just tell me which way to go or if I just didn't have such and such an issue this would work out a lot better, so can you take it away or make it better please? But often I end up in that case being like Eli was that day, insisting that Heavenly Father hold my hand while I try and climb a ladder. Heavenly Father is looking at me and trying to tell me that in fact what I'm asking for will make climbing my ladder more difficult, and it will not teach me proper climbing mechanics, so that when I am faced with a ladder in the future I will still not know how to climb it, yet I sit stubbornly with my hand outstretched, refusing to understand why He doesn't just grab on and help me climb. It reminds me some of that footprints poem that the person could only see one set of footprints in the sand when the Lord was carrying him. Often, I have trouble seeing how the Lord is supporting me all along until after the fact, or I am often surprised how God's help does come, sometimes in ways or messages that I didn't expect. And though I know I struggle with patience, when I am patient and my mind is calm I am receptive to answers around me that I could not have noticed with my hand thrust out only concentrating on that mode of help. Especially, in the case when it's a puzzle. I don't know if I'm the only one who gets answers like this, but sometimes when I finally calm down about whatever crisis I am facing, the Holy Spirit brings to my mind snip its of conversations or little bits of inspiration, that once I add it all up is the answer I have been praying for. And it's as though a little voice whispers, see Jenna, I was helping you all along, now do you see why this is the answer or why your way was not the best? or yeah see you were right it's all okay.

I think we forget that God has a lot of ways to help and support us. Sometimes holding hands on the playground is the best way, like when walking across a shaky-bridge other times you just need someone at the bottom of the slide to catch you. Just like I have spent much more time on playgrounds that little Eli has, so I know how better often how to help him across different equipment, God being all knowing knows best how I need to be helped across my obstacles and through my trials.

All of the talking of hands makes me think of Isaiah 49:16 "Behold, I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands; thy walls are continually before me."

 

God loves us, and He will help us through the playground obstacles of life.

Sometimes close is good enough :-)

These two pictures show Eli wearing his "Mater Christmas" shirt for Valentines Day this year

Here's Eli with his "tractor" on his back :-)

As Eli has been learning to dress himself, I have been been learning some important lessons about life. Like most kids, Eli often gets his shirt and/or his pants on backwards. Also, he doesn't really care about what day it is. On Valentine's Day, I tired to talk him into wearing a Valentine's T-shirt he randomly owns. I was like "yeah! he actually fits in it to wear it on the right day!" but He decided that he would rather wear a Christmas shirt :-).

But the main thing I've been learning is that close is sometimes good enough. I mean the Christmas shirt was red, so he still looked like he was wearing Valentine's Day stuff anyway, and in the end, the goal is to have him wearing clothes right? The most important thing is that Eli is learning to dress himself. He's learning how clothes work, that some keep you warmer than others. He's learning how things feel when you put them on different ways. Eli is creating his own style one day at a time.

I think sometimes we need to let ourselves know that we are still learning, and that the most important thing isn't that everything is done just "the right way." In many ways we are still learning just like Eli. Heavenly Father sent us to Earth to learn and grow, not to do everything right in one day. Maybe I'm still not a very good housekeeper but I'm learning, and in the end no one is in any danger of death upon entering my house, so maybe for now close is good enough. I'm still learning that somethings should be done in a certain order. Like, I need to clean the closets some before I will be able to organize things that need to be put away into them. In my current house, I need to do the dishes before I can do the laundry (draining issues). But the fact that I am trying, and that I am figuring out what techniques do and don't work for me is really the most important thing right now.

This goes for all sorts of things in our lives. Maybe I didn't know the perfect thing to tell a friend who was having a hard time, but the most important thing was that I tried and I did or said something. Or at least started with the thought to do it. And for now close is good enough. Close still helped.

Obviously, the goal is to move to be able to do things perfectly, but in God's eyes we are still children, just like Eli, and He doesn't expect us to do everything perfectly quickly, anymore than I expect that Eli will start being able to take care of his clothes starting tomorrow :-)

It Feels Good to Be Clean

(I was going to put up a picture of Eli and his cousin Kippy in the tub, but I couldn't find a clear one that didn't have one or the other unduly exposed, and once something's on the internet it's there forever, including when they are both 16, so I thought I'd save them :-))

"What God hath cleansed, that call not thou common" (Acts 10:15)

"...there can no man be saved except his ^bgarments are washed white; yea, his garments must be ^cpurified until they are cleansed from all stain, through the blood of him of whom it has been spoken by our fathers, who should come to redeem his people from their sins." (Alma 5:21)

"And may the Lord bless you, and keep your garments spotless, that ye may at last be brought to sit down with ^aAbraham, Isaac, and Jacob, and the holy prophets who have been ever since the world began, having your garments ^bspotless even as their garments are spotless, in the kingdom of heaven to go no more out." (Alma 7:25)

"...purify your hearts, and ^ccleanse your hands and your feet before me, that I may make you ^dclean;" (D&C 88:74)



I know that I don't usually start with scripture like that but I'm about to tell you some "Mom" storied involving diapers and things so I thought I'd at least start on a good note for those of you who may be squeamish about the rest of this post. :-)

The thought about being clean came to me last night after we had gone through what has become an all too familiar episode with Eli. I cuddled, snuggled, and sang to Eli and he wasn't going to sleep so I told him goodnight and let him put himself to sleep. He was taking a long time, and Josh said "I wonder if he has a dirty diaper?" I checked on him once and the diaper was clean, and of course we didn't check again later. So, as I'm making Josh's lunch we hear a scream of waking from Eli and we come in and not only did he have a dirty diaper, but as is his habit lately he had reached in and started smearing the poop on his bed (embarrassing stories are different than pictures if you are thinking of the caption above). So, I took the half asleep Eli to the bathroom and started scrubbing his hands and part of his arm and taking wipes to his hair and Josh stripped the bedding and put on a clean sheet and clean pillow case and got me a clean shirt, and we got Eli a clean diaper. Finally, we had it all cleaned up and as I laid down to snuggle next to Eli and sing to him, I looked at his bed and him and thought what a wonderful thing it is to be clean.

I think that is how life is too. How good it feels to be clean. This comes in lots of ways, when we are done with a project and we can "wash our hands of it." Even when we physically do finally get something clean, but especially the way it feels when we take care of something that we have been feeling guilty about. I love that feeling when I can say "gee I'm really glad that I didn't say anything" instead of "oh no, now why did I have to say it and like that!" Sometimes though it's really hard, you look at that yuck stuck to you and think maybe it's just a part of me now, it's who I am. But it's not, it really isn't. I used to teach this little boy at church who has autism, and it's pretty severe, he doesn't even speak, but there was an autism specialist that came to talk to us and help us and she said something really profound. She said "I hate it when people say 'Autistic child' when they should really say 'child with Autism'." And it is true. I would often take the boy in our class for walks when class was becoming too much for him, and I would look at him and there was this perfect little child, with amazing abilities, who just happened to have Autism. We are like him too. I am not a stubborn person who is only defined by stubbornness, no matter what anyone, including myself says, I am a daughter of God, the Supreme Being, The Creator, and I have talents and abilities that are of great worth to those around me, and I happen to be afflicted with stubbornness at the moment, but it doesn't have to be an eternal thing.

One of Eli's favorite phrases right now is "Mama will wash." He's so cute because he even holds his hand out as if to say "it's okay" sometimes he even says "it's okay, Mama will wash." Even when his Teddy and Harold (those are his favorite bears) get dirty, he's calmed by "it's okay, Mama will wash." And I think of our Savior, who must just look at us and with tears in his eyes say, "don't worry, it's okay, Jesus will wash. I came here to save you and that what I intend to do, I can't make you let me help you, but you can't stop me from calling. I am the Good Shepherd, and no matter what you do, no matter how far you go, no matter how hard it looks, I'm still here, and I'm still calling for you. I know you're dirty and you did things that you weren't supposed to do, but it's okay. Let me pick it up with you. Let me help you." and again "it's okay, Jesus will wash"

Just like Eli's clothes and toys can be cleaned, so can we.

Heavenly Father Really Truly Does Want Us to Be Happy

It has occurred to me that some of these topics might end up being similar as we go along, but I mean them with a little bit of a new light I guess you would say.

I was thinking about this the other day. We have been moving around a lot lately, specifically since last August we've gone from Connecticut to Utah to Oregon. All of the moving around is hard enough for an adult, but has really been hard on poor little Eli. But, recently we just had a really good day. Not that anything really spectacular happened, but we were out at the coast and we went to garage sales, and as I was putting Elijah down for his nap, I just could tell how happy he was. And, nothing could have made me happier at that moment than just seeing Eli happy. I can't really tell you the joy and peace of knowing that Eli was just as happy as could be.

I know Heavenly Father is happy too when we stop and feel grateful for what we have and are content even if nothing huge is going on. We don't need a trip to Disneyland to be happy. Heavenly Father has given us this Earth and so much, the sun, the smell of cut grass (for those of us who aren't allergic to it :-)). And it really goes a long way if we take time, even in trials to stop and just be happy about the good things that are in this world.