(I was going to put up a picture of Eli and his cousin Kippy in the tub, but I couldn't find a clear one that didn't have one or the other unduly exposed, and once something's on the internet it's there forever, including when they are both 16, so I thought I'd save them :-))
"What God hath cleansed, that call not thou common" (Acts 10:15)
"...there can no man be saved except his bgarments are washed white; yea, his garments must be cpurified until they are cleansed from all stain, through the blood of him of whom it has been spoken by our fathers, who should come to redeem his people from their sins." (Alma 5:21)
"And may the Lord bless you, and keep your garments spotless, that ye may at last be brought to sit down with aAbraham, Isaac, and Jacob, and the holy prophets who have been ever since the world began, having your garments bspotless even as their garments are spotless, in the kingdom of heaven to go no more out." (Alma 7:25)
"...purify your hearts, and ccleanse your hands and your feet before me, that I may make you dclean;" (D&C 88:74)
I know that I don't usually start with scripture like that but I'm about to tell you some "Mom" storied involving diapers and things so I thought I'd at least start on a good note for those of you who may be squeamish about the rest of this post. :-)
The thought about being clean came to me last night after we had gone through what has become an all too familiar episode with Eli. I cuddled, snuggled, and sang to Eli and he wasn't going to sleep so I told him goodnight and let him put himself to sleep. He was taking a long time, and Josh said "I wonder if he has a dirty diaper?" I checked on him once and the diaper was clean, and of course we didn't check again later. So, as I'm making Josh's lunch we hear a scream of waking from Eli and we come in and not only did he have a dirty diaper, but as is his habit lately he had reached in and started smearing the poop on his bed (embarrassing stories are different than pictures if you are thinking of the caption above). So, I took the half asleep Eli to the bathroom and started scrubbing his hands and part of his arm and taking wipes to his hair and Josh stripped the bedding and put on a clean sheet and clean pillow case and got me a clean shirt, and we got Eli a clean diaper. Finally, we had it all cleaned up and as I laid down to snuggle next to Eli and sing to him, I looked at his bed and him and thought what a wonderful thing it is to be clean.
I think that is how life is too. How good it feels to be clean. This comes in lots of ways, when we are done with a project and we can "wash our hands of it." Even when we physically do finally get something clean, but especially the way it feels when we take care of something that we have been feeling guilty about. I love that feeling when I can say "gee I'm really glad that I didn't say anything" instead of "oh no, now why did I have to say it and like that!" Sometimes though it's really hard, you look at that yuck stuck to you and think maybe it's just a part of me now, it's who I am. But it's not, it really isn't. I used to teach this little boy at church who has autism, and it's pretty severe, he doesn't even speak, but there was an autism specialist that came to talk to us and help us and she said something really profound. She said "I hate it when people say 'Autistic child' when they should really say 'child with Autism'." And it is true. I would often take the boy in our class for walks when class was becoming too much for him, and I would look at him and there was this perfect little child, with amazing abilities, who just happened to have Autism. We are like him too. I am not a stubborn person who is only defined by stubbornness, no matter what anyone, including myself says, I am a daughter of God, the Supreme Being, The Creator, and I have talents and abilities that are of great worth to those around me, and I happen to be afflicted with stubbornness at the moment, but it doesn't have to be an eternal thing.
One of Eli's favorite phrases right now is "Mama will wash." He's so cute because he even holds his hand out as if to say "it's okay" sometimes he even says "it's okay, Mama will wash." Even when his Teddy and Harold (those are his favorite bears) get dirty, he's calmed by "it's okay, Mama will wash." And I think of our Savior, who must just look at us and with tears in his eyes say, "don't worry, it's okay, Jesus will wash. I came here to save you and that what I intend to do, I can't make you let me help you, but you can't stop me from calling. I am the Good Shepherd, and no matter what you do, no matter how far you go, no matter how hard it looks, I'm still here, and I'm still calling for you. I know you're dirty and you did things that you weren't supposed to do, but it's okay. Let me pick it up with you. Let me help you." and again "it's okay, Jesus will wash"
Just like Eli's clothes and toys can be cleaned, so can we.
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