(So, this picture is about a year old, but this is Eli and his Cousin Kip on a playground in Clarkston, Washington)
So, the other day Eli and I went to the park for a picnic/play date, which was a lot of fun, and I learned something important while helping Eli on the playground equipment. Eli's a little afraid of things that he hasn't tried much before, and periodically afraid of high places. The other kids were climbing this ladder up to a really high place on the playground and he wanted to go too, but he was scared, so he wanted me to help him, but what he wanted me to do was hold his hand. As those of you who know anything about climbing a ladder know, it is best to use both of your hands when climbing a ladder. It in fact makes it more difficult to climb a ladder if someone is trying to hold your hand while you do it. I tried to show Eli that I could hold his sides to help him up, but he just didn't feel supported unless I was actually holding his hand. Luckily, the ladder wasn't long, so I could climb by him holding his hand in this case :-), but I learned something from this experience.
Sometimes we really have in our head what we think would be the most helpful thing for God to do. I know I think sometimes, just tell me which way to go or if I just didn't have such and such an issue this would work out a lot better, so can you take it away or make it better please? But often I end up in that case being like Eli was that day, insisting that Heavenly Father hold my hand while I try and climb a ladder. Heavenly Father is looking at me and trying to tell me that in fact what I'm asking for will make climbing my ladder more difficult, and it will not teach me proper climbing mechanics, so that when I am faced with a ladder in the future I will still not know how to climb it, yet I sit stubbornly with my hand outstretched, refusing to understand why He doesn't just grab on and help me climb. It reminds me some of that footprints poem that the person could only see one set of footprints in the sand when the Lord was carrying him. Often, I have trouble seeing how the Lord is supporting me all along until after the fact, or I am often surprised how God's help does come, sometimes in ways or messages that I didn't expect. And though I know I struggle with patience, when I am patient and my mind is calm I am receptive to answers around me that I could not have noticed with my hand thrust out only concentrating on that mode of help. Especially, in the case when it's a puzzle. I don't know if I'm the only one who gets answers like this, but sometimes when I finally calm down about whatever crisis I am facing, the Holy Spirit brings to my mind snip its of conversations or little bits of inspiration, that once I add it all up is the answer I have been praying for. And it's as though a little voice whispers, see Jenna, I was helping you all along, now do you see why this is the answer or why your way was not the best? or yeah see you were right it's all okay.
I think we forget that God has a lot of ways to help and support us. Sometimes holding hands on the playground is the best way, like when walking across a shaky-bridge other times you just need someone at the bottom of the slide to catch you. Just like I have spent much more time on playgrounds that little Eli has, so I know how better often how to help him across different equipment, God being all knowing knows best how I need to be helped across my obstacles and through my trials.
All of the talking of hands makes me think of Isaiah 49:16 "Behold, I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands; thy walls are continually before me."
God loves us, and He will help us through the playground obstacles of life.
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