Ask and Ye Shall Receive

This is Eli with one of his most favorite snacks, the saltine cracker :-) (This is thanks to watching Wallace and Gromitt a Grand Day Out)

The other day we were going for a car ride and since I know Eli seems to get hungry as soon as we start driving, I grabbed some snacks for him. We were in a hurry, so I just put a whole sleeve of saltine crackers in the snack area for him, instead of putting some in a ziploc bag. We got to driving down the road and suddenly I hear this wail of despair from the back seat! "Oh no! I will NEVER be able to get my crackers!!!" Eli cried out as only a child who is sure the world has ended can cry out.

I turned around and said, "Eli, why don't you just ask Mommy to help you open the crackers?"

He got that "oh right, I guess that could work" face, then after reminding a please, he handed me the crackers, and I opened them, then handed them back, and all was again well with the world.

This experience got me thinking about a few things. First, it reminded me of a passage from the Bible Dictionary about Prayer:

"As soon as we learn the true relationship in which we stand toward God (namely, God is our Father, and we are His children), then at once prayer becomes natural and instinctive on our part (Matt. 7:7–11). Many of the so-called difficulties about prayer arise from forgetting this relationship. Prayer is the act by which the will of the Father and the will of the child are brought into correspondence with each other. The object of prayer is not to change the will of God but to secure for ourselves and for others blessings that God is already willing to grant but that are made conditional on our asking for them. Blessings require some work or effort on our part before we can obtain them. Prayer is a form of work and is an appointed means for obtaining the highest of all blessings."

I also thought of the many times in the scriptures we are told to knock and seek and we shall receive. Here is an example:

" 9 And I say unto you, Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you.

 10 For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.

 11 If a son shall ask bread of any of you that is a father, will he give him a stone? or if he ask a fish, will he for a fish give him a serpent?

 12 Or if he shall ask an egg, will he offer him a scorpion?

 13 If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children: how much more shall your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to them that ask him?" (Luke 11:9-13)

 I thought about that, and how, I knew when I put the crackers in the car that Eli would need help opening them. I had planned on Eli eating those crackers. I just wanted to wait to open them until he was ready to eat them.

I thought about Heavenly Father, how often is He just waiting for us to ask before He gives us experiences we need. And if I might be so bold as to change the scripture a little, if I being imperfect, am ready and willing to open the crackers I have prepared for my son when he asks, how much more is God being Perfect ready and willing to send us the Holy Ghost that He has prepared for us when we need it.

It is easy to forget how important timing is. In the case of the crackers, I didn't want the crackers to be spilled, or if Eli wanted to eat something else, then I didn't want to have the cracker sleeve open before it had to be and risk the crackers just getting stale. I was only going to open them if Eli was ready for them and desired them at that moment in time.

We also have to remember that God wants us to be agents unto ourselves. He gave us this great gift of agency and He is not about to just take it away, because He loves us. He knows when we need to walk in the dark and when the answer needs to come right away. He knows when we need a chance to think about our problems and work on a solution. It reminds me of CS Lewis the Screwtape Letters (You can download a free copy here) in letter VIII, when they talk about how there are naturally times in life when light seems to ebb and flow, that we need those times when it ebbs and when we in essence have to live only off of our faith, because that's a time where we can show what we really choose to do. I remember so many times not knowing the answer until after I'd made a decision and acted on it, then later either got an overwhelming feeling of "nice work, you did the right thing!" or "Great try, I'm glad you worked so hard, but really you should go back and choose door #2."

Okay, so here I'm going to share what happened to me today. This is going to be a little difficult, because I usually only share past experiences that I've had time to think about, but here goes my current life. For a while I've been working on feeling truly happy. I changed jobs, which has helped drastically, and I've been working on my attitude towards life and things. Last night, I was listening to a talk before I went to bed, it was President Uctdorf from the last General Conference, and the talk is titled "Grateful in Any Circumstances" I said a prayer that I would be able to understand how to be more grateful even during trials, like the talk says. Okay, this stories going to take some back story to understand. First, if I haven't mentioned I'm a cancer survivor, and I've had a cold this week. I know that doesn't seems like much of a connection, but when I was first diagnosed with cancer we all thought that I was just coughing because I had caught a cold, like my family had, but really it was the cancer closing in on my lungs. This cold has been one of those too that mostly just messes with my head and makes me feel groggy all the time, which doesn't help that reminds me of my good days on Chemo. This morning when my son, who gets worried when I have a bloody nose, asked me if I was going to die, I held it together, but almost had a nervous breakdown. On the inside I was so scared. But in that moment of insane terror, I realized if I was only going to live for one more day, then what was really important. And I was so grateful for my family. I had some other special experiences today with other family members that just make me so grateful no matter what is going on.

Just for any of you who are worried, I really do just have a cold. I had my husband give me a priesthood blessing, I am totally fine. But, I was able to see again today how much God loves me. Because I knew what I had prayed for in learning to be grateful in any circumstances I've been able to see my existence more as a whole as an eternal personage again. I know God has a plan for me and that I'm on the path and I need not be afraid no matter what happens. God loves me and my family, and everything is going to be alright in the very end, come what may. We are given the experiences we need personally.

Why do I share that with this post? Just like opening the crackers before Eli was ready would probably have just lead to a big crumby mess in the back seat of the car. If God had sent me the harrowing experience that was reliving cancer for a day that was today when I had not been praying for being grateful in any circumstances, then I would probably be a big crumby mess right now as well. He knows when we are ready, and He knows what we need, and He's got His arms outstretched ready to give us more, as soon as we are ready to ask for it.